[sweetbix]

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]

[eye30]

 

[sweetbix]

 

[Dazzler]

If only I'd read that 3 wives ago..

Actually I worked all those out myself (eventually)

[2i30s]

I'm up to my 20th wedding anniversary this November and ill vouch for that list!   

[bulldog180]

I now keep a copy of that list in my back pocket and refer to it every conversation with hte wife

[Dazzler]

Often it is not what the say... it is "the" look ..(in my house anyway...)