[rustynutz]

Have we got the sports channel here?
The 2012 MotoGP season fires up next weekend....

[Doggie 1]

I checked earlier and all I could find were the 2012 International Knitting semi-finals and the Intermediate Qualifying Rounds for the U.K. Quoits Championships.
Enthralling stuff I have to say, once you get into it. 

[Surferdude]

No good having a TV. Imagine how many different sports we'd want to be watching.

[rustynutz]

Thankfully not all sport is on at the same time, Trev. 

Oh, and who won the knitting, Dave?

[Doggie 1]

Thankfully not all sport is on at the same time, Trev. 

Oh, and who won the knitting, Dave?

A lady from Siberia called Iva Gotslotsovknotsky.

[Surferdude]

Thankfully not all sport is on at the same time, Trev. 

It is if it's on a different channel.
Today I've watched motor racing, rugby league and the 5 o'clock News. Had to fight with my wife for the remote. Imagine an alcohol fuelled "discussion" in Alan's fine establishment. Could damage the furniture. And result in a visit from a bunch of Manchester's finest in their i30's

[Doggie 1]

 
That's ok, we'd just talk cars with them.

[AlanHo]

I did say in my introduction that there will be no large screen TV's in my pub - they are noisy conversation killers. We do however - offer free unlimited wi-fi so that you can sit there quietly - sip your beer - chat to your mates and keep an eye on your smartphone or tablet computer.

Hence those who want to watch the knitting championship don't needle the guys who prefer to kick football into the arena.

[rustynutz]

Sounds like you need to buy another tele, Trev.....

[AlanHo]

CCCCaan one o.o.o.o.of yyyou ggguyys hhellppp gggettttt ttthiss bbbloooddy dddog offff....mmmmy llegg

[Phil №❶]

What's the dogs name 

[AlanHo]

What's the dogs name 

Our pub dog isn't actually a Pit Bull - but is a well trained labrador - but with a slightly randy streak. I might have to get him doctored if he puts people off coming to the pub with his amorous tendencies.  If so we will have to change his name from "Bruce"  to "Tomorrow"......

I allllreadddy ttttolddd yyyou

[Phil №❶]

C'mon Brucie C'mon here boy, leave him alone 

[bumpkin]

So far today I have caught up with the WRC Portugal Rally, the British Historic Rally championship, the first round of the BTCC (great race), the Ginetta G50 and Junior Cups and am now setting down to watch the Porsche Carrera Supercup, followed by round 2 of the BTCC.  I love Sunday motorsport

[eye30]

Do you need more bar staff?

That link took me to my home page UM, I wouldn't satisfy your requirements I'm afraid.   

Not so lucky.

All I got was a blank white page

[AlanHo]

I got the white page too - but I concluded that it was an April Fool........................

[Shambles]

All I got was a blank white page

I got the white page too - but I concluded that it was an April Fool........................

I'm guessing you guys are still using that good-for-nothing Internet Explosion

Try this link instead

[AlanHo]

Blimey - it really was an April Fool Joke - I wouldn't dream of asking my girls to dress up in anything so floozy in the public bar. It might put people off their beer.

Thanks Steve for clarifying it.......................

[AlanHo]

This rather dishy blonde was in the bar last evening wearing the tightest sheerest pants I've ever seen.

I had a job keeping my eyes off her.

Finally my curiosity got the better of me, so I went over to her and whispered "How do you manage to get into those pants?"

She looked me over, smiled warmly, fluttered her eyelashes and replied, "Well, you could start by giving me some drinks in the house."

[Surferdude]

So far today I have caught up with the WRC Portugal Rally, the British Historic Rally championship, the first round of the BTCC (great race), the Ginetta G50 and Junior Cups and am now setting down to watch the Porsche Carrera Supercup, followed by round 2 of the BTCC.  I love Sunday motorsport

[AlanHo]

A guy dropped into the bar today and after sitting there for a while asked the barman to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone on the sofa in the quiet end of the lounge.

So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'..... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.
 
She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The barman, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman after surreptitiously reading it on the way.
 
My barman told me the note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your  pants'.
 
After reading the note, the man composed one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the barman and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. Which he did after collecting a few glasses fromthe tables to give him the chance to read it without being noticed. It read:
'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be, I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Australia, England and the USA, the smallest being a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off three inches. Just send the wine back.. 

[Doggie 1]

 
 

[kittikat]

Which of those pretty little dresses do you intend to wear UM? 

[Ugly Mongrel]

Which of those pretty little dresses do you intend to wear UM? 

I reckon I always look good in red, kittycat

 

[Phil №❶]

As indicated by your avatar 

[kittikat]

I do like that one.    It will add to the high class atmosphere of the establishment without a doubt. 

[AlanHo]

I should make clear to all members that the law stops me from banning cross dressers like UM from the Tavern - but I trust that he will respond to a polite request to be more respectfully dressed than the lung display on his avatar.............

[Ugly Mongrel]

I should make clear to all members that the law stops me from banning cross dressers like UM from the Tavern - but I trust that he will respond to a polite request to be more respectfully dressed than the lung display on his avatar.............

As we live in a democracy,Alan, I suggest the members in the bar should vote on the appropriateness of my choice of dress.

[Mel]

I should make clear to all members that the law stops me from banning cross dressers like UM from the Tavern - but I trust that he will respond to a polite request to be more respectfully dressed than the lung display on his avatar.............

As we live in a democracy,Alan, I suggest the members in the bar should vote on the appropriateness of my choice of dress.

Hey UM i think you are safe considering they let Rustynutz in with no clothes on lol some clothes has to be better hehehe

[eye30]

I should make clear to all members that the law stops me from banning cross dressers like UM from the Tavern -

Who is up for the door job so they can bar the undesirables?