[TerryT]

Ah, the fun and tribulations of working on cars...it's a never-ending joy.  PGNI30's post on another thread where he said: "...fixed by a garage then a month later the same codes popped up, the hub nut had not been torqued and damaged the threads on the CV joint, had to put a new driveshaft in as we couldn't find a CV joint at the time and yes, I torqued the hub nut up properly" reminded me of some of my past frustrations!

[For those not familiar with the contact ignition systems of olde times, I have attached two photos to help follow my story]

One of my most frustrating times, about 60 years ago, was when replacing the ignition contact points in a distributor fitted to a Holden (I think).  I undid the small screw and as I lifted the screw up, it dropped down into the bowels of the distributor body, totally unseen.  Bugger (or words to that effect). 

Now I need to undo the distributor and lift it out of the engine block so I can upend the distributor and bang its body against something hard to dislodge the screw from its cubby hole.  A rested brain would have said do it on the workbench.  A late-at-night, tired brain said save yourself 10 seconds and just bang it against the engine block which I did....

And watched with amusement as the screw popped out and, on its second bounce, fell straight into the hole on the block that the distributor fits into...and which goes into the engine bottom.  Now I need to lift the car with stands and drain the engine oil, hoping the screw will come out with the oil.  Of course, it didn't!!  So, I need to undo the dozen or so sump screws, drop the sump and collect the little 'bastard'!  Mission accomplished.  I refitted the sump and refitted the distributor in the engine block, complete with new contact points.

As I'm getting ready to start the engine, warm it up and then put the timing light on it, I just happened by chance to notice that the oil drip pan (which I had pushed out of the way when I took the car off its stands) still had the engine oil in it!  I think my frazzled brain just went into a giggling stage.  So close to damaging the engine.

Anyone got anything close?

The little screw (aka The Bastard)


The distributor end that goes into the hole in the engine block

[The Gonz]

Oh, I can't match that - you win (or lose)

... but seeing the dizzy reminded me of my first (HQ) and second (VH) both with that technology.
I do recall a series of all-too-frequent teardowns and rebuilds of Lucas alternators followed by a much preferred Bosch replacement that put an end to the frustration.

[Surferdude]

Oh yes.
I've also dropped that screw down the guts of the dizzy.
But you win on the sump bit. ✅
I had the points close up in a rally once.
Renault Dauphine Gordini.
Just on dusk, pouring rain and for some inexplicable reason, no torch. 🤬
No idea what was wrong and no way to fix it if I didi.
Went home and back the next day to get the car.

[Surferdude]

Had to replace the clutch on my R12 once.
On stands under my house.
If you're not familiar with the drivetrain layout on an R12, it's a north south engine in front of the gearbox transaxle.
So the best way is to lift the motor out leaving the gearbox, diff and driveshafts still in place connected to the brakes and suspension.
Did that, replaced the clutch kit, aligned the splines (had a spare shaft for just that purpose). Dropped the motor back in.
No way I could get the splined shaft into place. Somehow it was marginally out of line.
Had to repeat the whole process.
Second time it worked.

[Greyhound]

TerryT's contact points job reminded me of tinkering with the points and angle position adjustment of the Ducellier distributer on a Renault 5 to avoid pinking, even after "diagnostic servicing" by the dealer. I still have the little timing light I made up for that job.

Unlike the R12, the R5 engine gearbox layout was 180deg around, with the gearbox and transaxle out front of the engine. To get to the distributer, you first had to remove the spare wheel !

[PGN I30]

Mates Grand Jeep Cherokee had a flat battery, I said I could pop my charger on it for an hour or so to try and breathe some life into it.
Mate in a rush decides to try and start the car while I wasn't looking, cue the viscous fan eating my charger and cables as they were lay across the engine. Not impressed, didn't even apologise.

[TerryT]

Oh, I can't match that - you win (or lose)

... but seeing the dizzy reminded me of my first (HQ) and second (VH) both with that technology.
I do recall a series of all-too-frequent teardowns and rebuilds of Lucas alternators followed by a much preferred Bosch replacement that put an end to the frustration.

Alternators?  C'mon, were you too young to be playing with generators? 

Ah, yes, [Joseph] Lucas, affectionately known as the Prince of Darkness to us who rode motorbikes at night fitted with 6V Lucas electrrics.  The company's motto was "Get home before dark!".  You were better off striking matches and throwing them in front of the bike as you rode along.
_________________________________________

Some random Lucas-related quotes:

Lucas, inventor of the self-dimming headlight.

Lucas, inventor of the original anti-theft device.

The three position Lucas switch – Dim, Flicker and Off.  The other three switch settings are "Smoke, Smolder and Ignite".

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.  Joseph Lucas invented the short circuit.

 Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars, kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting: “Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant”.

[TerryT]

TerryT's contact points job reminded me of tinkering with the points and angle position adjustment of the Ducellier distributer on a Renault 5 to avoid pinking, even after "diagnostic servicing" by the dealer. I still have the little timing light I made up for that job.

Unlike the R12, the R5 engine gearbox layout was 180deg around, with the gearbox and transaxle out front of the engine. To get to the distributer, you first had to remove the spare wheel !

Distributor location was probably designed by the Accounts Section.

[TerryT]

Had to replace the clutch on my R12 once.
On stands under my house.
If you're not familiar with the drivetrain layout on an R12, it's a north south engine in front of the gearbox transaxle.
So the best way is to lift the motor out leaving the gearbox, diff and driveshafts still in place connected to the brakes and suspension.
Did that, replaced the clutch kit, aligned the splines (had a spare shaft for just that purpose). Dropped the motor back in.
No way I could get the splined shaft into place. Somehow it was marginally out of line.
Had to repeat the whole process.
Second time it worked.

Yep, I've also experienced the old-alignment-spline-worked-fine-last-time, not-this-time, hold-your-mouth-differently-and-try again. 

Our forum members would have so many similar struggle-land stories.

I didn't like it much when I occasionally helped work on the old VW beetle.  Their workshop manuals would have a detailed description, with photographs, on the chapter: "How to Remove the Engine".  Then it seemed like too many other chapters started off with "First, remove the engine".

[TerryT]

Mates Grand Jeep Cherokee had a flat battery, I said I could pop my charger on it for an hour or so to try and breathe some life into it.
Mate in a rush decides to try and start the car while I wasn't looking, cue the viscous fan eating my charger and cables as they were lay across the engine. Not impressed, didn't even apologise.

Not a nice man.   You need to cull this type from the herd. 

I've seen other fan-related mishaps, often a dropped spanner unable to defy the Laws of Gravity and making such a noise(!) as it bounces off things.  It's worse when you're standing nearby with mates with your back to the vehicle when it happens.   Much ducking and bobbing for a second before the nervous laughs.

[TerryT]

Oh yes.
I've also dropped that screw down the guts of the dizzy.
But you win on the sump bit. ✅
I had the points close up in a rally once.
Renault Dauphine Gordini.
Just on dusk, pouring rain and for some inexplicable reason, no torch. 🤬
No idea what was wrong and no way to fix it if I didi.
Went home and back the next day to get the car.

And when it happens, you sit in the car thinking "Why me, Lord?" 

[Surferdude]

TerryT's contact points job reminded me of tinkering with the points and angle position adjustment of the Ducellier distributer on a Renault 5 to avoid pinking, even after "diagnostic servicing" by the dealer. I still have the little timing light I made up for that job.

Unlike the R12, the R5 engine gearbox layout was 180deg around, with the gearbox and transaxle out front of the engine. To get to the distributer, you first had to remove the spare wheel !

Distributor location was probably designed by the Accounts Section.

TerryT's contact points job reminded me of tinkering with the points and angle position adjustment of the Ducellier distributer on a Renault 5 to avoid pinking, even after "diagnostic servicing" by the dealer. I still have the little timing light I made up for that job.

Unlike the R12, the R5 engine gearbox layout was 180deg around, with the gearbox and transaxle out front of the engine. To get to the distributer, you first had to remove the spare wheel !

Similar to the R16 I think.

[Surferdude]

Mates Grand Jeep Cherokee had a flat battery, I said I could pop my charger on it for an hour or so to try and breathe some life into it.
Mate in a rush decides to try and start the car while I wasn't looking, cue the viscous fan eating my charger and cables as they were lay across the engine. Not impressed, didn't even apologise.

Not a nice man.   You need to cull this type from the herd. 

I've seen other fan-related mishaps, often a dropped spanner unable to defy the Laws of Gravity and making such a noise(!) as it bounces off things.  It's worse when you're standing nearby with mates with your back to the vehicle when it happens.   Much ducking and bobbing for a second before the nervous laughs.

Ah yes. Forgot my most unforgettable dropped spanner moment.
We had not long been in Sydney and decided to make a rushed weekend trip back to Brisbane for a show my wife wanted to see.
So, left Sydney at 4pm Friday and drove through the night to Brisbane.
Saturday afternoon found us in South Brisbane on the side of the road with a flat battery.
First I wanted to check the terminals were tight.
Only had a shifting spanner.
I dropped it ACROSS THE TERMINALS.
The battery had been gassing.
💥
Blew up in my face.
Fortunately I had sunglasses on.
Ran into a nearby pub to wash the acid off my face. Then source a replacement battery so we could drive home on Sunday.

[Surferdude]

Mate of mine in the rally days was working one night on his RX2 rally car.
Had some small issue down around the starter motor.
Reached down with his left hand which had a watch on the wrist.
With one of those expanding metal bands.
Shorted out across the solenoid and pretty much melted the metal into his wrist by the time he got free.
Watch was a write off and he only narrowly avoided needing skin grafts right around his wrist.

[Surferdude]

Bloody hell.
Ok think I hate you Terry. 
Memories keep flooding back.
My Brother in law had an R10S.
Lovely car.
He decided to do an oil change in his parents driveway which had a very slight downward slope to the roadway.
Dropped the oil, replaced the oil filter.
I was standing back with a beer "helping".
We were probably mid twenties so everything was done in bare feet.
The first indication I had that something was wrong was as this slowly spreading stream of oil found its way between his toes.

Replace sump plug.
Use my car to go to a garage and buy more oil.

Crack another stubby.

 

[TerryT]

Bloody hell.
Ok think I hate you Terry. 
Memories keep flooding back.

Geezus, I'm starting to hate myself with what I've started!  

[TerryT]

Mate of mine in the rally days was working one night on his RX2 rally car.
Had some small issue down around the starter motor.
Reached down with his left hand which had a watch on the wrist.
With one of those expanding metal bands.
Shorted out across the solenoid and pretty much melted the metal into his wrist by the time he got free.
Watch was a write off and he only narrowly avoided needing skin grafts right around his wrist.

Yep, like many others I'm sure, I've been there and done similar.     

It sure jolts you out of not focusing on the task at hand.   (Those expanding metal watch bands were popular in the day).

There's a reason for not wearing jewelry (watches, metal wrist bracelets, rings, dangling neck chains) when working on cars, especially when playing with anything electrical.

[TerryT]

Ah yes. Forgot my most unforgettable dropped spanner moment.  ...Saturday afternoon found us in South Brisbane on the side of the road with a flat battery.
First I wanted to check the terminals were tight. Only had a shifting spanner.  I dropped it ACROSS THE TERMINALS.
The battery had been gassing. 💥 Blew up in my face.  Fortunately I had sunglasses on. Ran into a nearby pub to wash the acid off my face.

Wow, that could have been so much worse for your good looks.   Again, you and I have had so many similar car-related 'frustrations'. 

My unforgettable battery flashing incident was when working on a mate's racing WRX STi.  He had discarded the OEM bonnet strut (too much weight) and just used a wooden broom handle to prop up the bonnet then shelve it when we were finished. 

So, I'm working alone on the car, disconnecting the battery, when I accidentally touch both battery terminals with my spanner and get a big, nasty sparking FLASH which makes me jump back.  My flailing arm dislodges the broom handle and the bonnet falls down and glances my head.   Now, lucky for me, (1) the battery wasn't gassing (it was an expensive lightweight racing battery); (2) the bonnet was light fibreglass (not your typical i30 heavy steel one); (3) my head is quite hard, and (4) I was alone so I didn't embarrass myself in front of others.

Would like to say that was my last time at flashing the battery, but No, unfortunately.

[TerryT]

My Brother in law...decided to do an oil change in his parents driveway which had a very slight downward slope to the roadway.
Dropped the oil, replaced the oil filter.
The first indication I had that something was wrong was as this slowly spreading stream of oil found its way between his toes.

Replace sump plug.  Use my car to go to a garage and buy more oil. Crack another stubby.
 

Ok, I haven't gone that far as accidentally doing a full dump on the concrete...but I will admit to having been close (once saved by a visiting "mate/technical adviser" sitting on a stool watching the Master at Work (me) and seeing the first puddle under the car and yelling out "Oi, stop!!" 

"Crack another stubby" is the universal solution to any car problem!

[Greyhound]

"Crack another stubby" is the universal solution to any car problem!

As is: "Hmm... I will look at it again tomorrow".

Similar to the R16 I think.

I believe there were a number of front wheel drive Renaults that had the spare wheel stored under the bonnet, rather than in the boot. They were full size spare wheels as well, none of your spacesavers. To do any engine servicing, it had to come out. Maybe it was Renault's alternative to the airbag/srs.

[Surferdude]

"Crack another stubby" is the universal solution to any car problem!

As is: "Hmm... I will look at it again tomorrow".

Similar to the R16 I think.

I believe there were a number of front wheel drive Renaults that had the spare wheel stored under the bonnet, rather than in the boot. They were full size spare wheels as well, none of your spacesavers. To do any engine servicing, it had to come out. Maybe it was Renault's alternative to the airbag/srs.

I was referring more to the engine transaxle configuration but yes I think the R16 spare was also in the front.
The rear was interesting too.
One guy in our club decided he'd make a picnic table to fit in the boot behind the wheel arches.
Measured and cut a nice piece of timber..
But he only measured one side.
The R16 has torsion bar rear suspension which meant a slightly different wheelbase from one side to the other.
Table didn't fit. 🤪

[Surferdude]

All the rear engines Renaults had their spare mounted in the front behind a drop down panel under the bumper bar..
The 750 (4CV), Dauphine, R8 and R10.
Actually a good system because you didn't need to worry about what was in the luggage compartment getting in the way.

[TerryT]

We seemed to have morphed into the subject of “Unforgettable Moments” so…  For 5 years (1966~1970) I raced sprint karts.  On the eve of the 1968 NSW Championships I had to do a major engine rebuild and, as I was working two jobs, I didn’t get home until late so I didn’t finish the kart until about 2.30am.  A snack, a shower and in bed by about 3am. 

The Unforgettable Bitter Moment…:  About 3.30am I hear this little voice in my head saying: “Did you torque down the rod big end bolts?”  No matter how many times I lay there and went through the process I couldn’t actually see me, in my mind’s eye, torquing them down!   Finally, I get up, remove the engine from the frame, access the bottom end and check.  Both bolts were torqued down to spec!!  Relief, of sorts. 

Closed up the engine and, with much faffing about, mounted it to the frame.  It’s now about 5am.  I get about 2 hours troubled sleep as the kart track is at Londonderry (regional NSW) a 1½ hour drive and I can’t miss the early practice sessions as I need to bed in my piston & rings. 

I sleep-walked through the day with a race program of 5 heats x 20 laps with 20 drivers, each.  Frantic pace.  Plus, learning, on the run, the idiosyncrasies of the unknown interstate drivers e.g. whether they prefer to hit you from the side or the back or will kamikaze you in the corners. 

The Unforgettable Sweet Moment…  I went home with this…


My first major title

You get a trophy with a cloth patch for your racing jacket if you wore one (but my karting trophies are in a suitcase that has been stored, untouched, in my shed for almost 30 years!).

[TerryT]

I forgot to attach the 'star' to my post above, my now 55-year-old, 1/4" sq.dr. Warren & Brown torque wrench, a top-quality brand then and now. 

It is one of the few tools I have kept for sentimental reasons alone, for its karting memories.  (I have a 1/4 sq. dr. Snap-on electronic torque wrench which sells for obscene money but it has no sentimental value to me at all).

Perhaps I should start a thread:  "Tools that I Love More than My Wife".   Nah, too risky!! 

[TerryT]

"Crack another stubby" is the universal solution to any car problem!

As is: "Hmm... I will look at it again tomorrow".

Yep!!