i30 Owners Club
GENERAL STUFF => GENERAL DISCUSSIONS => Random Chit Chat => Topic started by: The Gonz on January 22, 2022, 08:56:51
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time there was
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a big fat
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-consuming organism that
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stumbled across a
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wishing well
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and fell in
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Plop, plop, plop.
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but not before...
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a judge had
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revoked his visa...
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making the mastercard
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Decline at the checkout
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chick's house party
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around the corner from...
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the cemetery
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Is the dead centre of town
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Just as Bruce climbed out of the open grave
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-digger's car to
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toppled in, to great laughter from...
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The Gonz
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farted in surprise
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, profusely apologising to
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divert attention from the melting ice...
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in his G&T
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...the checkout chick had handed him, before holding her nose and running off
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to fetch an
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Handkerchief
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To blow into
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the traffic cop's breathaliser
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or so she thought
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But it turned
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the cop had
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Narna narna head on with spinning blue light
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speeding to the scene of the accident, or was he just late for lunch..
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but instead it was...
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A big fat
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lie being told
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because in truth...
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I wasn't drinking
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through my mouth
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whilst suspended upside down from...
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Their various piercings
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was a very
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inconvenient, as the nearest toilet was...
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occupied by a
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A nun and a dwarf.
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From snow white
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Suffering from a Disney spell
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leaving her unconscious
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He vacated the
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building with Elvis
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in the ghetto heading for the Heartbreak Hotel
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Viva Las Vegas...or was it a Vauxhall Viva on two wheels...
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No it was a
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A surfer with a head injury that
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made him resemble
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a plate of lasagne
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thrown against the
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Wall and spread
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across several states
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Mandates were abolished
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when Trump turned
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Left and fell in a ditch
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thinking it was a wishing well ...
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But it was just
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the mire of
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Pig swill
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through which he
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Traipsed precariously
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On tip toes
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rehearsing Swan Lake
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where the crocodile emerged
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And swallowed his
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pride wearing a
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Tutu and bovver boots
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whilst the orchestra played...
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As the ship slowly
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lost all power
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going uphill
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like dying salmon
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on the BBQ
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of life's great
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Mysteries especially the
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buttered breadslice principle
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that is inversly proportional to...
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A circle within a square box
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Is called the
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Da Vinci Code
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Wasn't as good as national treasure
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hunting documentaries on
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the dark side of the moon
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Must be really
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frustrating having someone
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bouncing around on a space hopper
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writing more than
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war and peace
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Is of no
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more importance than
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what you had for dinner last night
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The skirt was that short
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type used by
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1970's hovercraft running between
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Here and there
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Are no safe places
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to hide when
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The police call
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Message in a bottle
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their favourite song
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but failed to get any points in the Eurovision..
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because the singer
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went to the wrong..
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Circumcision party so
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it was pointless
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at the rear
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End of ends
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for the front
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door knocker
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with the electoral
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Roll
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-ing Stones fan following
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The band for a
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couple of weeks
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on the run
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With soiled pants
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flung at the
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Highland Games
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What's worn under a kilt
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Was a little blue bow
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and arrow
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tattooed onto the
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left hand side
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like Cupid's
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Bow and arrowe
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causing a great
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work of art
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acclaimed by the
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banksy appreciation society
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paid by Banksy
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wearing a covid face mask
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Around his botty
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to stop the
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cold draught
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homebrewed beer from
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@eye30 Lester Breweries
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horse drawn dray
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delivering to all
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Habitual boozers
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once a week
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Or less when married
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to the mob
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in the pub
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Sipping a frothy
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cappuccino, which wasn't
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Very good at
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washing down the
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washing down the
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or even washing down the
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washed down bit
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To make sure
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every single trace had
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Multiple DNA
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bleached like a
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fake blonde
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Hair, big fake
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orange ex-president
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Big cheese burger
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or the vegetarian option is...
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less appetising than
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a bale of hay
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Fell off the trailer
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of Brad's latest
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Bedroom fiasco
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captured on video
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With his didgeridoo hanging
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over the balcony
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wherefore art thou Romeo?
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You took the snorting
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white powder
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for baby's bottom
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drawer for raffle
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prizes previously unimaginable
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as this entire concoction
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of worthless drivel
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continues to infinity and beyond
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The limits that a
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small yet stellar
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beer would reach
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The very depths
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Of the great
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undersea trench in
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the neighbours back yard
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which Council approved
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After brown envelope in back pocket
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It was white but he sharted
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at the same time farted
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at sight of
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The elephants erection heading towards
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the tourist cave complex
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Was closed due to
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getting flooded
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as a result of said Council's
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sewerage outlet
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leading to the river
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But couldn't get
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the boat to
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Rottnest Island so
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swam across
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The the path of a
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total stranger
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looking girl
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friend of
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The jolly green giant
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Bad dragon toy
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hot air baloon
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and vintage biplane
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appreciation society
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And
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also in addition to
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the clockwork
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substitute girlfriend was
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seriously overwound and acting in a irregular manner
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which seemed normal
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for daylight saving time
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on the dark
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unlit road to
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the Hotel California
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Bar & Resturant
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serving hot chips
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with fish
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Biting my toes
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was a small dog
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held by Jamie
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pretending to be
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Somebody they aren't but
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everyones eyes were on the dog
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After dad blamed
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The red hot curry
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lovers' lunch meeting
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Ending in pure
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panic in the queue for
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soothing ointments at
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the burns unit
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while the nurses
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Played in his didgeridoo
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ignoring his cries of didgeridon't
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which constituted assault
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and battery
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chargers hummed loudly
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as they had no piano
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after the flood
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Noah commanded "Lower the gangplank"
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and down went
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Between the lines
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all manner of
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snakes down ladders
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heading for the
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hills are alive
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with greyhounds barking
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Hare come the girls
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practising their Broadway
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Pit Orchestra
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gymnastics display routine
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at the Commonwealth
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beer tasting
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tournament hosted by
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Shrek
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sponsored by the
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Donkey
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Kong game programmer
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Who played a blinder
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pinball wizard during
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golf shot into the woods
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Mary said come and see
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my Canary
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so the whole
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Hole holed up
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with rubber plugs
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but did not stop the leaking
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of Mary's canary's
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sump plug washer
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Anti antifreeze squirted
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across the Santa Fe
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to the dark side
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of Pink Floyd's
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The great gig in the sky
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lights of the skyscraper
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attracted King Kong
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and his entourage
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to dine at the penthouse resturant
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Full of one legged......
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waiters serving frogs legs
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to toads on stools
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at the bar
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And under the table
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were found many
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discarded bones
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of poor unfortunate
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frogs, chickens and lambs
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cooked in cauldrons
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to make glue
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for greenie demos
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labelled not suitable for vegans
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Steak, chicken and pork
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being the favourite
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pub food
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On a beer mat
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at the Royal Adelaide Show
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made from dried cow pat
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by cow pat dryers
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pat Pat on the pat
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Pat put on the pot
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putting pots on pits
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pits his wits on the size of her
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rolling pins and
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needles and thread
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artistry to achieve
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Paint by numbers
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RAL 1001 (Beige)