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OFF TOPIC => WORLD NEWS => General => Topic started by: AlanHo on July 22, 2013, 21:54:53

Title: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 22, 2013, 21:54:53
The wait is over - it's a boy weighing 8lbs 6 ounces - which foreigners would recognise as 3.8 kg.

I have been on tenterhooks for weeks and weeks worrying that all was well and speculating whether it would be a boy or girl. I have been scurrying over to the newsagents extra early each morning for the Daily Mail to catch up on the latest news and speculation. They do say that moving house is stressful - but waiting for this birth has been much worse and I have found it difficult to concentrate on anything.

It has been a joy to switch on the TV at almost any time of the day or night to see pictures of the huge gaggle of photographers waiting patiently outside the hospital - or watch experts and politicians talking about the imminent birth or the child's place in history. However - our tacky commercial channels have had the temerity to interrupt this historic coverage with bloody adverts. You could almost hear the collective groan of the whole Country when the adverts came on.

You will have noticed my recent failure to post jokes etc every day - I bet you assumed this was because I was too busy on house moving chores. The reality is that I have been glued to the TV and newspapers in order to collect and savour every snippet of this momentous and joyous occasion. The whole country has been besotted by the story with the streets noticeably quieter  as people stayed home frightened to miss the finale.


Well at last it has happened and we will all get up each day with bugger all to look forward to or talk about. The TV channels will have to resort to showing repeats of old programmes without the royal goings-on to pad things out. Tomorrow I will take my wheel barrow over to the newsagents to collect the Daily Mail - it is bound to be a special souvenir edition and will weigh heavy.  I cant wait.......................... :whistler:


Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 22, 2013, 21:59:36
After reading that and you being such a royal watcher i wonder whether you will be asked to be a godfather.........
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: bumpkin on July 22, 2013, 22:37:23
I am so happy I could sh1t!

Thank you Alan, I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like you :goodjob:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: diablo on July 22, 2013, 22:43:51
It has been announced on Newsnight by historian Lucy Worsley that the baby will be 'another plank' in the Royal Family. I couldn't agree more. :)

Can't wait for the coronation <taps assumptions into calculator> which will be around 2090.  :eek:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: asathorny on July 22, 2013, 22:48:23
Another sprog whole  live on state benifits all its life and never ever do a days work  AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  :Shocked: :Shocked: :Shocked:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 22, 2013, 23:05:55
I am so happy I could sh1t!

Thank you Alan, I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like you :goodjob:

It's good to know that the Scots share our enthusiasm and are equally in thrall over the events.

It will be interesting to see what our Aussie friends have to say about the birth of their future king when they all fall out of bed.

 I haven't been this excited for longer than I can remember :mrgreen:


Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Keith on July 22, 2013, 23:20:00
Me either.... Zzzz....Zzzzzzz.....what?
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Dazzler on July 22, 2013, 23:24:59
Not that excited about the baby sorry ..

More inquisitive about what language Kate used at the height of the contractions (I imagine damn was the worst she would have said)  :snigger:

.. and how quickly she will get her nice abbs back  :winker:

 :snigger:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 00:47:59
I heard yesterday that Kate's dog got its head caught in a fence and emergency services had to be called.
http://www.celebuzz.com/2013-07-19/cripes-will-and-kates-dog-lupo-gets-stuck-in-a-fence/ (http://www.celebuzz.com/2013-07-19/cripes-will-and-kates-dog-lupo-gets-stuck-in-a-fence/)
I did wonder whether that was a sign that the baby was coming (and whether it would get its head stuck in Kate's "gate"  but I see no news on that is being reported.:undecided:)
I guess it was indeed a sign though.  :)
Being a Royalist I think it's great news and fantastic to see that Australia has a new potential king (being third in line to the throne).  :goodjob2:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 01:14:47
How is he going to be our King?  I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General.  At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!! 

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line.  I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Surferdude on July 23, 2013, 01:40:34
I hope the gentleman concerned will forgive me for this but I've "stolen" his facebook comments and pasted them here as they are just too good to not share.

     Whilst the safe arrival of any baby is a wonderful thing do we really need all the fuss? Here we are taking a picture of the empty steps at the front of the hospital again ( yes where we were 2 minutes ago when we told you the same thing). David Cameron says they will make wonderful parents (how does he know??), the Queen and Prince Philip are apparently delighted, well they are not exactly going to say they are bloody miserable about it are they? Some woman on from Kates home town who says "Really, it's a boy? Really?" No it's the bloody alien from the Argos ads!     
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 23, 2013, 06:26:50
"Sh1t", cried the King and thousands of Royal AH's strained their utmost.  :exclaim:

BIG DEAL,,,,,  :sleeping:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 06:34:20
How is he going to be our King?  I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General.  At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!! 

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line.  I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.

Australia's Governor General is the Queens's representative in Australia, Jamie.  :whistler:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: rustynutz on July 23, 2013, 06:42:16
Bloody good day to be born!   :goodjob:

Well, I think so anyhow....
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: potnodleman on July 23, 2013, 07:55:43
the first thing the queen asked was.... he's not ginger is he?  :whistler:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 23, 2013, 09:31:28
Tomorrow I will take my wheel barrow over to the newsagents to collect the Daily Mail - it is bound to be a special souvenir edition and will weigh heavy.  I cant wait.......................... :whistler:

Here is online version for you

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2374032/Royal-baby-boy-born-Kate-Middleton-Duchess-Cambridge-gives-birth-future-King.html
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 23, 2013, 11:02:13
I love it when one of my sarcastic posts hits the spot and gets you guys all fired up..................... :evil: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 23, 2013, 11:03:27
Sarcasm,,,,, I thought you meant it  :exclaim:  :snigger:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 12:41:49
I didn't.  :snigger:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 12:50:57
How is he going to be our King?  I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General.  At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!! 

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line.  I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.

Australia's Governor General is the Queens's representative in Australia, Jamie.  :whistler:

The Queen is still our Head of State too, yet she didn't seem it worth her while to sign my commissions (yes, I have two).  :undecided:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 23, 2013, 12:51:45
I'm very happy for them and that he was born healthy,but F#8k me PPL you all need to get a life,this poor kid is going to have absolutely no privacy,leave the poor buggers in peace.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 12:52:31
Jamie, that's because she delegates those duties to her representative in Australia, the GG.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 12:55:17
You can delegate authority, but not responsibility.  She is still the Head of State, therefore should have signed my Commission.  A President would have.

Roll on the Republic!!!

Viva la revolution!!

I'm very happy for them and that he was born healthy,but F#8k me PPL you all need to get a life,this poor kid is going to have absolutely no privacy,leave the poor buggers in peace.

Agreed Rick.  Just another baby.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 12:57:41
 :lol: C'mon Fb, she hasn't delegated responsibility, just the authority and task, as you say.
Anyhow, you probably wouldn't have wanted it if the Queen signed it.  ;)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 23, 2013, 12:58:24
Due to the birth the line up for the throne now puts our royal watcher AlanHo 1 step further away from becoming our King.

Alan, you now come in at number 65,999,999.

2 behind me.
 :goodjob2:

Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 13:00:29
And 3 behind the Chinaman, Wang.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 13:01:23
:lol: C'mon Fb, she hasn't delegated responsibility, just the authority and task, as you say.
Anyhow, you probably wouldn't have wanted it if the Queen signed it.  ;)

I would too!!  Then I'd have the Queen's (or Queens's) signature!!   :happydance:

BTW, I've seen it, it's not that spectacular (ER). 

And in my time in the RAN, I've NEVER stood for the Loyal Toast.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 13:04:30
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 13:14:27
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

Oooh, can I see it, I love the Queen!! 
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 23, 2013, 13:15:38
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

who?  Freddie
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 23, 2013, 13:16:29
And in my time in the RAN, I've NEVER stood for the Loyal Toast.

P*ssed
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 13:17:18
And in my time in the RAN, I've NEVER stood for the Loyal Toast.

P*ssed

Nope, Naval Officers are not required to stand for the Loyal Toast.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 23, 2013, 13:17:50
 :drinks: :rofl:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 13:18:33
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.


That one would be worth a bit too, Dave.  Queen Victoria has been dead for quite a while now!!
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 13:37:27
Why is everyone so unkind?  :undecided:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: bumpkin on July 23, 2013, 13:54:08
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

Oooh, can I see it, I love the Queen!!

(http://i382.photobucket.com/albums/oo261/bumpkinbucket/Library/Picture055.jpg) (http://s382.photobucket.com/user/bumpkinbucket/media/Library/Picture055.jpg.html)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 13:59:23
 :hatoff:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: potnodleman on July 23, 2013, 14:25:55
I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

Oooh, can I see it, I love the Queen!!

(http://i382.photobucket.com/albums/oo261/bumpkinbucket/Library/Picture055.jpg) (http://s382.photobucket.com/user/bumpkinbucket/media/Library/Picture055.jpg.html)

cool...just need to steal her cheque book (and a wig and false teeth) and I'm rolling in it  :happydance:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 23, 2013, 14:26:38
Don't forget the Corgi.  ;)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Shambles on July 23, 2013, 16:11:52
(http://i.imgur.com/fUivuYf.jpg)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 23, 2013, 21:41:30
 :disapp: :rofl:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 24, 2013, 01:33:57
Beautiful baby.
Looks just like his mother.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 24, 2013, 18:20:38
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/how-to-build-your-baby-bullshit-bunker-2013072376553 (http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/features/how-to-build-your-baby-bullshit-bunker-2013072376553)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: diablo on July 24, 2013, 19:05:26
The bulsh seems to have for stopped now - at least on the media I watch/read/listen to.

Following the major media shock when the names are announced then the  next Royal 'news event' will be the Christening I suppose.

I suppose they'll turn off life support for Mandela in the meantime so they have can fill some airtime on the news channels before that. :)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 24, 2013, 19:07:15
 :lol: :rofl: :goodjob2:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: eye30 on July 24, 2013, 20:05:12
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge name their son George Alexander Louis.

Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 24, 2013, 22:30:45
 :groan:  :Rubbish: :sleeping:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 25, 2013, 01:03:32
That makes him a fine young GAL then.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Surferdude on July 25, 2013, 06:35:33
That makes him a fine young GAL then.

Was just gonna say, "GAL" for short.  :goodjob:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: beerman on July 25, 2013, 07:52:50
Has the baby been born? I haven't heard anything about it....
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Surferdude on July 25, 2013, 07:59:05
Has the baby been born? I haven't heard anything about it....
Earth calling beerman!
Earth calling beerman!

Helllloooooooo?
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Shambles on July 25, 2013, 08:18:44
Quote from: beerman
Has the baby been born? I haven't heard anything about it....

I too used to have drunken daze (drunken days) when I was younger :P
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: beerman on July 25, 2013, 09:17:03
 :drinks:  :beer:

If only we had a sarcasm smiley....

I found the Phil is easily shocked one.... :Shocked: Where is the sarcasm one?
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 25, 2013, 09:56:56
I just wish one of the young Royals has the balls to break with tradition and name one of their tin lids something out of the norm for royalty.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Dazzler on July 25, 2013, 10:00:58
I just wish one of the young Royals has the balls to break with tradition and name one of their tin lids something out of the norm for royalty.

If Beatrice is anything to go by, maybe not... :undecided:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 25, 2013, 10:08:19
bit of an old name Dazz but not the worse one of heard,I quite like it  :D
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Dazzler on July 25, 2013, 10:12:07
 :P
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 25, 2013, 11:43:30
Members, seriously, what would you name the baby.

Bruce, Cyril, William. :mrgreen:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: The Gonz on July 25, 2013, 11:44:58
I should have put money on George. I'd been saying it would be George for weeks. :blubber:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: rustynutz on July 25, 2013, 11:46:51
Members, seriously, what would you name the baby.

Bruce, Cyril, William. :mrgreen:

Bruce, Barry or Wally would've been acceptable...  :lol:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 25, 2013, 11:48:40
C'mon Rusty, it's got to be 3 names, officially.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: The Gonz on July 25, 2013, 11:54:01
How about this set of fine British names?
John Paul George Ringo. :lol:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: rustynutz on July 25, 2013, 11:56:15
C'mon Rusty, it's got to be 3 names, officially.

Well, take the comma's away then...  :P
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 25, 2013, 11:56:22
it is now every news report I have been seeing tonight have tagged the newest royal Little Boy Goerge,is'nt that gunna go down well with his family,as long as he doesn't turn out like the real Little Boy George
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Phil №❶ on July 25, 2013, 11:58:15
 :goodjob2: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 25, 2013, 12:02:43
I do believe that should Charles ever become King, he will be named King George, not King Charles.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 25, 2013, 12:02:53
 :rofl: can see it now thirty years down the track,Little Boy George,  makeup n inch thick,ourtragious clothes and trench coat,funny hat in his carriage,arm in arm with his Queen boyfriend,waving gayly at the crowds of Oh! so Pround Poms  :whistler:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: The Gonz on July 25, 2013, 12:05:20
(http://i.imgur.com/n5pHwpj.jpg)
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 25, 2013, 12:07:09
Gee, he looks a bit like Michael Jackson in that light.  :lol:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Just Rick on July 25, 2013, 12:07:54
Oh! No that one went to far even for me  :disapp:  :disapp:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Dazzler on July 25, 2013, 12:47:22
Oh! No that one went to far even for me  :disapp:  :disapp:

 Why, he's just hanging out with his Mum and Dad  :whistler:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: The Gonz on July 25, 2013, 12:58:23
Why, he's just hanging out with his Mum and Dad  :whistler:
:rofl:
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 25, 2013, 14:23:02
Adrian or Wayne would have been nice
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Doggie 1 on July 25, 2013, 14:25:12
Or David.
King David has a nice ring.
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: AlanHo on July 25, 2013, 14:28:23
Randy might be predictive.....
Title: Re: The Royal Baby
Post by: Dazzler on July 26, 2013, 22:07:40
WayneKing (I mean King Wayne) would have been good, Alan, as a reference to grandad  :goodjob: ..  :snigger:
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