[AlanHo]

We travelled down to London yesterday afternoon to stay at the Renaissance Hotel overnight before catching a 10.30 am flight from Heathrow to Gran Canaria.

The trip to Gran Canaria turned out to be eventful.

Yesterday, we were driving down the M40 about 4 miles before turning onto the M25 when the Garmin Satnav announced that there was a 27 minute delay on the M25 on the 5 mile section before we turned off onto the M4 to Heathrow.  We were in no hurry and I initially decided to ignore the warning – but just as I was about to take the M25 slip road - I changed my mind and stayed on the M40 to take the cross country route via Uxbridge. It  proved to have been a fluke wise decision because we later learned on the London radio news that people had been stuck for more than an hour and a half in stationary traffic on that section. Phew – that was a near miss.

When we fly from Heathrow, we stay overnight at the Renaissance Hotel because we can leave the car there for the week we are away as part of the tariff for one night’s stay for £105. To park a car in a Heathrow long stay car park costs almost that much. This time we were in for a rude awakening. Firstly the cost of dinner there (which was always a touch expensive) had gone up an unbelievable amount. So we walked a couple of hundred yards to the local McDonalds and had our first fast food in months (which was surprisingly quite good). 2 Chicken legend meals for less than £10.
We went back to the hotel  - watched a bit of TV news about the Euro farce - and then turned into bed. Only to find what looked like tiny black beetles between the quilt and the sheet which we eventually decided were mouse droppings. Hotel management were possibly more aghast than we were, changed the bed linen immediately and cancelled our payment. However – the result was a severely curtailed night’s sleep.

This morning we took the 08:05 Hopper bus from the Hotel to Heathrow terminal 5. We have never used terminal 5 before and initial impressions were good. We were travelling business class and you normally get fast tracked through bag drop, passport and baggage checks but I reckon it took the best part of an hour from arriving at terminal 5 until we reached the Lounge. We then spent 30 minutes having breakfast there before the flight was called. Hence Libby had no opportunity to browse the shopping area about which she was a little grumpy. I won’t call it duty free – because it isn’t.

We boarded the flight with the usual frustrations of stuffing 200 people into an aluminium tube with inadequate hand luggage storage space – pushed back – and were then told we were not taking off yet - but moving to a parking area because French air traffic control were being grumpy and our take off would be delayed by an hour – it was actually 64 minutes.

So we arrived at Gran Canaria an hour late at 3:10 and were subjected to my pet hate – no air bridge - but a hot, packed, stuffy bus ride from the plane to the terminal.  The bus discharged us at the terminal into a glass walled area with two exits to take you past the passport control cabins. However – there were no security staff in the cabins and we were trapped in the holding area for 40 minutes until they turned up. Libby was building up a head of steam but I shrugged it off saying that we would have had to wait that long anyway at the baggage carousel - so the wasted time was a wash – at least the baggage would be waiting for us. You guessed it – it wasn’t – it took a further 30 minutes before the baggage arrived.

The final straw was with the car hire. I had booked a Ford Focus but there wasn’t one available so we were given a brand new (17 kilometers on the odo) Citroen C4 Cactus. It is a car only its mother could love. The bloody thing hasn’t been touched by an ugly stick – it has been thrashed by one. First impressions after a 30 kilometer drive to the hotel are that it seems well put together, has uncomfortable seats, very stiff gearchange (new car?), lots of road noise and a noisy engine which has lots of pep but a strange engine note. I suspect it might be a 3 cylinder turbo. The dashboard is a weird concoction of curves and squares that do not appear to like each other. More anon on the subject.

We finally reached our hotel at just after 5:30 in pouring rain – we could have flown to America in less time and got just as wet.

We are promised sunshine tomorrow – but I aint holding my breath

[FatBoy]

I love reading your travel stories, Alan.  Informative, frustrating (for you) and funny (not for Libby) all in one. 

I hope you have a great time away, and that the sun does rear its head for the rest of your stay.

I was impressed with Terminal 5 when I went through Heathrow a couple of years ago.  It was mentioned that it is the largest building in the UK, is that still the case?  I did find it a little "dark" inside though (it was very early morning), and was told, maybe a "Furphy", that the lights are so high up that they can't change them when needed as there isn't the necessary "cherry pickers" to reach the required height while still conforming to the dreaded OH&S regulations.

[Surferdude]

Tell me again why you have this week away each February?

[AlanHo]

Tell me again why you have this week away each February?

I don't remember telling you in the first place...................

[Phil №❶]

I'm exhausted from your holiday tale, and it aint over yet.

[eye30]

I think a week in Hos would be preferable now!

[Doggie 1]

But have you seen any of those big canaries yet?   

[The Gonz]

Those canaries are grand indeed.

[Surferdude]

Tell me again why you have this week away each February?

I don't remember telling you in the first place...................

 

[Dazzler]

You do wax lyrical Alan (I prefer bikinis)

Another very entertaining tale.. hope things improve! 

I just googled a "Cactus" I wooden want one!

[Phil №❶]

Citroen Cactus. Yeah, it's cactus alright. 

[Doggie 1]

Citroen Cactus. Yeah, it's cactus alright. 

I did wonder if cactus had the same meaning in Europe as in Australia.
I'm guessing not, otherwise Citroen wouldn't have called it a Cactus.   

[Shambles]

Such repartee

Hotel management ... cancelled our payment

Pity you hadn't eaten in the hotel...

[Phil №❶]

Why would you call a car after a prickly plant 

[Doggie 1]

Or something that is completely f**k*d.   

[Phil №❶]

 

[eye30]

We are promised sunshine tomorrow – but I aint holding my breath

19c

http://www.holiday-weather.com/gran_canaria/

[Lakes]

Another Great Travel tale Alan!
Like Dazz i had to see what the Cactus looked like. To me look's like it is targeted for US market with those wood panels. could see one on the beach with surfboard on roof in Cal  .
but i would not hire a Focus myself.
You mentioned, after you found RS in your bed, they gave you a free night, but had also mentioned, you booked there to get a week's parking so , was that a free night & free weeks parking? Enjoy!!!!

[Surferdude]

Wouldn't it be funny if Alan arrived back from the Canary trip to find the hotel had towed his car because he hadn't paid for a  stay. 

[AlanHo]

Foreword : When I were but a lad in the UK Midlands - the word cack or cacky was slang for shit.

We did about 120 km today in the Citroen Cacktus which included motorway, mountain and white knuckle cliff edge roads around the coast.  I must admit it has a great engine. It is definitely a 3 cylinder petrol turbo but there is no indication on the engine of its capacity. If I were to guess it must be at least a 1.4 litre to be so flexible and spirited.

For a petrol it has amazing grunt at low revs and reminds me of my 130 diesels - except the engine noise is more noticeable. I reset the trip this morning at it read 6.1 l/100 km at the end of the day. I wish this engine was in my 1.6 Venga.

The car has no knobs or buttons on the dashboard - everything is done via a large touchscreen that pokes up out of the dash at the car centre line. Admittedly I have only had the car for just over day but it has been long enough to convince me that touchscreen controls of major functions are bloody dangerous. To make any adjustments including the A/C or ventilation controls, the radio, volume control, etc means you have to take your eyes off the road and touch, swipe and fiddle with the screen menus and icons which is difficult to do safely and is all but impossible on a bumpy road.

The good points are the car seems well planted on the road and the steering, though heavier that the i30 or Venga has a nice feel. Road noise is about the same as my Venga. The seats remain uncomfortable despite playing with the height and reach settings. libby complained of a bad back at the end of the day. My back was Ok but my bum was numb.

We had covered about 30 km this morning on the motorway when some chimes went off and a plan view of the car appeared on the screen with red arrows pointing at the wheels and a message in Spanish which Libby translated as "Emergency tyre pressure problem". There was also  a red tyre error symbol showing in the speedo panel.  I always take a tyre pressure gauge on holiday and used it when we stopped off at the first village we were to visit. You will remember that this was a brand new car - the front pressures were 2.8 and 2.7 bar and the rears 2.6 and 2.5. The info label stuck in the front door frame stated that the recommended cold pressures were front 2.3 and rear 2.2 bar.

I let air out each tyre to reduce the pressures to 2.4 in front and 2.3 in the rear but it has made no difference - the tpms is still showing an error. I have just checked the tyre pressures again - 3 hours after getting back to our hotel and they have hardly changed. I guess there is something wrong with the tpms system.

The equipment list in this crapcus is a strange mix. Steel 16" wheels shod with Goodyear Efficient Grip tyres. It has key operated central locking (no remote) yet has cruise and a speed limiter, Bluetooth, a good radio/audio system and climate control which is difficult to alter on the move via the centralised control screen.

The boot is generous for the size of the car and there is reasonable rear seat room.

It's still bloody ugly though   (but Libby quite likes the appearance)

One amusing incident today was when I was checking the tyre pressures tonight a guy approached me and timidly asked if I spoke English.
I told him "No - but I speak fluent brummigam" which forced a smile out of him.

He was a Geordie and said he had a problem. He had picked up a SEAT Leon at the airport and it didn't have a fuel gauge. Did I know how he could tell when it needed more fuel.

I said that it must have a fuel gauge so we toddled off down the car park to look at his car.

He switched on the ignition and the instrument panel burst into life showing two circular instruments. The left one was a tacho and he right one a speedo. At first glance that was all that was evident - until I noticed at the bottom of the tacho display a small segment with bar markings and a tiny icon of a temperature gauge. I then looked at the speedo section and there was a similar small segment with bar markings and a tiny icon of a fuel pump.  When I pointed these out he breathed a huge sigh of relief - followed by saying he now felt like a total prat. He wanted me to go to the bar with him and he would buy us a drink. I politely declined but said that he could do me an enormous favour. "Just name it" he said - so I asked him to be sure that he and all his family and friends voted NO in the coming Euro referendum.

He was already going to do this anyway so we finished up in the bar after all.

[eye30]

Any chance of a picture of the car

[rustynutz]

It is definitely a 3 cylinder petrol turbo but there is no indication on the engine of its capacity. If I were to guess it must be at least a 1.4 litre to be so flexible and spirited.

I just googled it and it's a 1.2 litre, Alan...

Here you go, Lester...

[Surferdude]

You've reminded me about a van my son hired to transport all 6 of us for a couple of days from Mississauga to Kingston last November.
I've already forgotten what breed it was but it had one of those bloody see all, do all, know nothing touch screens. Even the air con (with separately controlled outlets for three zones) was controlled from it.

Bloody rubbish.

Again, I thank God I'm the age I am and won't have to face too many years of exposure to the idiocy of unnecessary technology.

[beerman]

[Doggie 1]

It's so, so.......beautiful.       

[Phil №❶]

You must be it's Mother 

[Doggie 1]