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OFF TOPIC => WORLD NEWS => General => Topic started by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 00:16:04

Title: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 00:16:04
EVER since Mark Goddard injured his hand in a motorcycle accident 16 years ago, it had been giving him trouble.

The 44-year-old repeatedly sought help to manage the “excruciating nerve pain” he claims he suffered but failed to find a doctor willing to help him, according to Metro UK.

So the former mechanic decided to take matters into his (good) hand and build a guillotine using an axe, some springs and an old gate post in his back garden.

Sadly, the device did not perform as well as Mr Goddard would have liked, forcing him to finish off the job with a knife.

The result, as news.com.au readers may or may not be able to discern from the photograph (we have seen a more gruesome one), is a bit lopsided.

Mr Goddard then made a bonfire and threw the hand into the flames so that surgeons would not be able to reattach it. He lost lots of blood and was rushed to hospital where his stump was stitched up by trained staff.

“There should never have been any need for me to do this,” Mr Goddard said inexplicably.

“It would have spared so much distress all around — but it was the only way. At least it will give me and my family our lives back.”

Mr Goddard burnt his hand in a bin so that surgeons would not be able to reattach it.

Unsurprisingly, Mr Goddard is still in pain. He has warned Britain’s NHS (National Health Service) he will chop his arm off at the elbow unless it helps him.

He insists his pain is not in his head and that he has passed several psychiatric examinations.

Source & Pics: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine | News.com.au (http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/mark-goddard-amputates-own-hand-with-backyard-guillotine/story-fneuzlbd-1226869771470)
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: AlanHo on April 01, 2014, 00:44:11
I don't know quite what to say. I'm stumped for a reply.

Poor bugger - all that suffering drove him to it - you'd have thought that someone would have given him a hand.

Bloody tough us poms.
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: TheReaper on April 01, 2014, 01:25:12
Screw that!  :Jaw: that's not normal just in its self
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 02:15:20
I'm sure my brother can relate... :undecided:

As some on this forum already know, my brother had both his legs lopped off and he said at the time it was such a relief to be rid of the excruciating pain he was suffering beforehand...
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: TheReaper on April 01, 2014, 02:33:04
Pain can make people do some extreme things, but still makes me cringe :eek:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 02:43:26
Yes, I think I would've bought myself a circular saw if I wanted to lop off my hand....  :undecided:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: TheReaper on April 01, 2014, 02:59:12
I don't think I could bring myself to actually do it........ that makes me hurt thinking about it.
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 03:11:16
 :lol:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Dazzler on April 01, 2014, 05:45:11
I'm guessing another April fools joke (a lot around this year!)  :whistler:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: rustynutz on April 01, 2014, 06:32:56
Not this one, Daz....unless they decided to get an early start....  :whistler:

Mark Goddard: Man chops own hand off using homemade guillotine | Metro News (http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/28/man-chops-off-his-own-hand-with-a-home-made-guillotine-and-is-now-threatening-to-amputate-his-arm-4681668/)
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Dazzler on April 01, 2014, 06:35:02
The first link you posted was published at 9am this morning (that is why I was suspicious)
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Shambles on April 01, 2014, 08:01:48
It's the kind of thing we Brits do, when we get bored :rolleyes:

Hope he doesn't develop an awkward scratch on his left ear..
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: eye30 on April 01, 2014, 08:19:59
I'm guessing another April fools joke (a lot around this year!)  :whistler:

No.

Genuine.

Was reported in the news last saturday
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Ugly Mongrel on April 01, 2014, 10:35:18
Well, you have to hand it to the man. He's pretty handy with sharp implements.  :Shocked:

I just hope he never gets a painful scrotum.  :faint:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Dazzler on April 01, 2014, 10:37:25
Well, you have to hand it to the man. He's pretty handy with sharp implements.  :Shocked:

I just hope he never gets a painful scrotum.  :faint:

Banger and mash anyone  :whistler:
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: TheReaper on April 01, 2014, 12:13:02
Hope he wasn't a handyman by trade :D
Title: Re: Mark Goddard amputates own hand with backyard guillotine
Post by: Just Rick on April 01, 2014, 12:45:05
Holy Cow,I can make a better guillotine than that,just looking at his, you could have figgered out it wasn't going to work properly,when he wants to take his arm off,have to give him my number.
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