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GENERAL STUFF => GENERAL DISCUSSIONS => Random Chit Chat => Topic started by: eye30 on July 26, 2010, 14:51:57

Title: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: eye30 on July 26, 2010, 14:51:57
Not sure if we have had this or something similar. So anyway here it is. Apologies in advance.
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NICKNAMES
 
·        If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
 
·        If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
 
EATING OUT
 
·        When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
 
·        When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
 
MONEY
 
·        A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 
·        A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
 
BATHROOMS
 
·        A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
 
·        The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
 
ARGUMENTS
 
·        A woman has the last word in any argument.
 
·        Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
 
FUTURE
 
·        A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 
·        A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 
SUCCESS
 
·        A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
 
·        A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 
MARRIAGE
 
·        A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 
·        A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
 
DRESSING UP
 
·        A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
 
·        A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
 
NATURAL
 
·        Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
 
·        Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
 
OFFSPRING
 
·        Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
 
·        A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
 
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
Title: Re: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: Dazzler on July 26, 2010, 23:04:23
Think we have had that one Lester .. but who cares (still very funny)  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: hipposniper on July 26, 2010, 23:28:27
all are so true haha
Title: Re: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: Mutley on July 27, 2010, 00:48:04
Hahahaha very good.
Title: Re: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: clackerz on July 27, 2010, 01:09:22
Love it and so very true....
Title: Re: Men Are Just Happier People
Post by: SRT Metro on July 27, 2010, 06:33:03
 :lol: :lol: :lol:
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