A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a
fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his
tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.
The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you're not coming over
here."
The indignant lawyer replied. "I'm one of the best trial lawyers in
England, and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything that you own.
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do
things in Scotland. We settle small disagreements like this with the
Scottish Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the Scottish Three Kick Rule?"
The farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick
me three times, and so on, back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that
he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local
custom.
The old farmer slowly gets down from the tractor and walked up to the city
fella. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the
lawyer's groin, which dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly ripped the nose off his face.
The lawyer was flat on his belly, when the farmer's third kick to a kidney
nearly causing him to give up, but didn't.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet
and said, "Okay, old man, now it's my turn."
The old farmer smiles and says,
"Nah, I give up, You can keep the duck.
