The Royal Baby

AlanHo · **July 22, 2013, 21:54:53**

The wait is over - it's a boy weighing 8lbs 6 ounces - which foreigners would recognise as 3.8 kg.

I have been on tenterhooks for weeks and weeks worrying that all was well and speculating whether it would be a boy or girl. I have been scurrying over to the newsagents extra early each morning for the Daily Mail to catch up on the latest news and speculation. They do say that moving house is stressful - but waiting for this birth has been much worse and I have found it difficult to concentrate on anything.

It has been a joy to switch on the TV at almost any time of the day or night to see pictures of the huge gaggle of photographers waiting patiently outside the hospital - or watch experts and politicians talking about the imminent birth or the child's place in history. However - our tacky commercial channels have had the temerity to interrupt this historic coverage with bloody adverts. You could almost hear the collective groan of the whole Country when the adverts came on.

You will have noticed my recent failure to post jokes etc every day - I bet you assumed this was because I was too busy on house moving chores. The reality is that I have been glued to the TV and newspapers in order to collect and savour every snippet of this momentous and joyous occasion. The whole country has been besotted by the story with the streets noticeably quieter as people stayed home frightened to miss the finale.

Well at last it has happened and we will all get up each day with bugger all to look forward to or talk about. The TV channels will have to resort to showing repeats of old programmes without the royal goings-on to pad things out. Tomorrow I will take my wheel barrow over to the newsagents to collect the Daily Mail - it is bound to be a special souvenir edition and will weigh heavy. I cant wait..........................

eye30 · **Reply #1: July 22, 2013, 21:59:36**

After reading that and you being such a royal watcher i wonder whether you will be asked to be a godfather.........

bumpkin · **Reply #2: July 22, 2013, 22:37:23**

I am so happy I could sh1t!

Thank you Alan, I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like you

diablo · **Reply #3: July 22, 2013, 22:43:51**

It has been announced on Newsnight by historian Lucy Worsley that the baby will be 'another plank' in the Royal Family. I couldn't agree more.

Can't wait for the coronation <taps assumptions into calculator> which will be around 2090.

asathorny · **Reply #4: July 22, 2013, 22:48:23**

Another sprog whole live on state benifits all its life and never ever do a days work AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

AlanHo · **Reply #5: July 22, 2013, 23:05:55**

Quote from: bumpkin on July 22, 2013, 22:37:23

I am so happy I could sh1t!

Thank you Alan, I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling like you

It's good to know that the Scots share our enthusiasm and are equally in thrall over the events.

It will be interesting to see what our Aussie friends have to say about the birth of their future king when they all fall out of bed.

I haven't been this excited for longer than I can remember

Keith · **Reply #6: July 22, 2013, 23:20:00**

Me either.... Zzzz....Zzzzzzz.....what?

Dazzler · **Reply #7: July 22, 2013, 23:24:59**

Not that excited about the baby sorry ..

More inquisitive about what language Kate used at the height of the contractions (I imagine damn was the worst she would have said)

.. and how quickly she will get her nice abbs back

Doggie 1 · **Reply #8: July 23, 2013, 00:47:59**

I heard yesterday that Kate's dog got its head caught in a fence and emergency services had to be called.
http://www.celebuzz.com/2013-07-19/cripes-will-and-kates-dog-lupo-gets-stuck-in-a-fence/
I did wonder whether that was a sign that the baby was coming (and whether it would get its head stuck in Kate's "gate" but I see no news on that is being reported.

)
I guess it was indeed a sign though.

Being a Royalist I think it's great news and fantastic to see that Australia has a new potential king (being third in line to the throne).

FatBoy · **Reply #9: July 23, 2013, 01:14:47**

How is he going to be our King? I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General. At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!!

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line. I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.

Surferdude · **Reply #10: July 23, 2013, 01:40:34**

I hope the gentleman concerned will forgive me for this but I've "stolen" his facebook comments and pasted them here as they are just too good to not share.

Whilst the safe arrival of any baby is a wonderful thing do we really need all the fuss? Here we are taking a picture of the empty steps at the front of the hospital again ( yes where we were 2 minutes ago when we told you the same thing). David Cameron says they will make wonderful parents (how does he know??), the Queen and Prince Philip are apparently delighted, well they are not exactly going to say they are bloody miserable about it are they? Some woman on from Kates home town who says "Really, it's a boy? Really?" No it's the bloody alien from the Argos ads!

Phil №❶ · **Reply #11: July 23, 2013, 06:26:50**

"Sh1t", cried the King and thousands of Royal AH's strained their utmost.

BIG DEAL,,,,,

Doggie 1 · **Reply #12: July 23, 2013, 06:34:20**

Quote from: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 01:14:47

How is he going to be our King? I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General. At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!!

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line. I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.

Australia's Governor General is the Queens's representative in Australia, Jamie.

rustynutz · **Reply #13: July 23, 2013, 06:42:16**

Bloody good day to be born!

Well, I think so anyhow....

potnodleman · **Reply #14: July 23, 2013, 07:55:43**

the first thing the queen asked was.... he's not ginger is he?

eye30 · **Reply #15: July 23, 2013, 09:31:28**

Quote from: AlanHo on July 22, 2013, 21:54:53

Tomorrow I will take my wheel barrow over to the newsagents to collect the Daily Mail - it is bound to be a special souvenir edition and will weigh heavy. I cant wait..........................

Here is online version for you

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2374032/Royal-baby-boy-born-Kate-Middleton-Duchess-Cambridge-gives-birth-future-King.html

AlanHo · **Reply #16: July 23, 2013, 11:02:13**

I love it when one of my sarcastic posts hits the spot and gets you guys all fired up.....................

Phil №❶ · **Reply #17: July 23, 2013, 11:03:27**

Sarcasm,,,,, I thought you meant it

Doggie 1 · **Reply #18: July 23, 2013, 12:41:49**

I didn't.

FatBoy · **Reply #19: July 23, 2013, 12:50:57**

Quote from: db08 on July 23, 2013, 06:34:20

Quote from: FatBoy on July 23, 2013, 01:14:47
How is he going to be our King? I didn't vote for him (or the Queen for that matter).

And before any of you Royalists raise the spectre of me being a former Commissioned Officer in the RAAF and RAN, both were not Queen's Commissions, but Commissioned by the Governor General. At no stage during my career did I swear allegiance to the Queen (as was formerly the case).

Move on, bring on the Republic!!

Again, don't raise the "If it's not broke, don't fix it" line. I'm sure you all get your cars serviced BEFORE they break down.

Australia's Governor General is the Queens's representative in Australia, Jamie.

The Queen is still our Head of State too, yet she didn't seem it worth her while to sign my commissions (yes, I have two).

Just Rick · **Reply #20: July 23, 2013, 12:51:45**

I'm very happy for them and that he was born healthy,but F#8k me PPL you all need to get a life,this poor kid is going to have absolutely no privacy,leave the poor buggers in peace.

Doggie 1 · **Reply #21: July 23, 2013, 12:52:31**

Jamie, that's because she delegates those duties to her representative in Australia, the GG.

FatBoy · **Reply #22: July 23, 2013, 12:55:17**

You can delegate authority, but not responsibility. She is still the Head of State, therefore should have signed my Commission. A President would have.

Roll on the Republic!!!

Viva la revolution!!

Quote from: Rick! on July 23, 2013, 12:51:45

I'm very happy for them and that he was born healthy,but F#8k me PPL you all need to get a life,this poor kid is going to have absolutely no privacy,leave the poor buggers in peace.

Agreed Rick. Just another baby.

Doggie 1 · **Reply #23: July 23, 2013, 12:57:41**

C'mon Fb, she hasn't delegated responsibility, just the authority and task, as you say.
Anyhow, you probably wouldn't have wanted it if the Queen signed it.

eye30 · **Reply #24: July 23, 2013, 12:58:24**

Due to the birth the line up for the throne now puts our royal watcher AlanHo 1 step further away from becoming our King.

Alan, you now come in at number 65,999,999.

2 behind me.

Doggie 1 · **Reply #25: July 23, 2013, 13:00:29**

And 3 behind the Chinaman, Wang.

FatBoy · **Reply #26: July 23, 2013, 13:01:23**

Quote from: db08 on July 23, 2013, 12:57:41

C'mon Fb, she hasn't delegated responsibility, just the authority and task, as you say.
Anyhow, you probably wouldn't have wanted it if the Queen signed it.

I would too!! Then I'd have the Queen's (or Queens's) signature!!

BTW, I've seen it, it's not that spectacular (ER).

And in my time in the RAN, I've NEVER stood for the Loyal Toast.

Doggie 1 · **Reply #27: July 23, 2013, 13:04:30**

I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

FatBoy · **Reply #28: July 23, 2013, 13:14:27**

Quote from: db08 on July 23, 2013, 13:04:30

I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

Oooh, can I see it, I love the Queen!!

eye30 · **Reply #29: July 23, 2013, 13:15:38**

Quote from: db08 on July 23, 2013, 13:04:30

I have the Queen's signature but I'd have to dig it out.
I got it when I was a teenager.

who? Freddie