What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pr*cks on the outside.
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern
USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t...'
