The Original i30 Owners Club

The Lone Ranger

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Offline bumpkin

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The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians...

 

The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days.  But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests.  What is your first request?"

The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.'  The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back.  As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.  'You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?'  The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him, and once again he whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.  She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and also spends the night.  The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.  
 
He tells the Lone Ranger, 'You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still kill you tomorrow. 'So what is your last request?'  The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone.'  The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.  Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says:
 
"Listen very carefully you stupid horse.... For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE !!"
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Offline eye30

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The old one are the best ones. :lol:
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Offline Dazzler

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says,
"Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
 
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
 
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
 
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber then buffalo shit. Someone has stolen tent."
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Offline eye30

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:lol:  :lol:
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