Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks 'How many people are
flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'I dont know! Its your f***ing plane!!'
==========================
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses &
lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
=====================
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not
servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a
death trap!
======================
Paddy's chat up lines:
1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!
2. Are your parents retarded? 'Cos your special!
3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just can't hold it in!
4. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!
==========================
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbour's dog is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off..
He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'Ive put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'
====================
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say 'Crikey!
Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London !'
=========================
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay.
Paddy drives past & stops.
He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick twits like you that give us Irish a bad name!
I'd come over there & kick the f**k out of you if I could swim!'
