My father urged me to be a simple carpenter because carpenters are just PLANE folks. He said that when the drill bit was invented, it was a real TURNING POINT.
He DRILLED it into me, but I thought it was BORING. I would rather TOOL around with my friends.
The UNVARNISHED truth is that I had a few SCREWS loose and was MALLET-justed. I had a drinking problem, and got PLASTERED on SCREWDRIVERS with my friend JACK HAMMER all the time.
One night my parents found me HAMMERED, and that didn't AUGUR well one BIT with them. I wanted to BOLT out of there. I made some disJOINTED remarks and shouted, "Just LATHE me alone!"
"Don't RAZOR voice at me!" said Dad. He became UNHINGED! He CLAMPED down on me, and finally I SAW that I couldn't suSTAIN that lifestyle.
Yes, I SOLDER light. I tried to SQUARE things with Dad, so I joined a SPLINTER group of Alcoholics Anonymous and WRENCHED myself away from booze.
My sponsor said that I was enDOWELed with talent, and if I JOINED my dad's business, that everything WOODWORK out. He CHISELED away at me until I decided to JOIST do it.
It was back to the old GRIND. It was a RIVETING experience as I BORE down and had to RATCHET up a notch. At first, I learned through TROWEL and error, but LADDER ON I finally NAILED the NUTS and BOLTS of the business.
My father thinks that I am now on the LEVEL. He is proud of me, and said, "When I DIE, son, this AWL will be yours."
