The High and Dry Tavern

Aussie Keith · **Reply #390: October 16, 2013, 23:30:49**

I've just popped back into the H&D for some quiet time and I notice a guy at the bar with a drink looking confused. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Nice pants!" it says.

He looks around, doesn’t see anything, and quickly shrugs it off. After a little bit, he takes another sip and hears the voice again.

“Hey mister! Sweet shoes!”

Again, he looks around, sees nothing but a bartender who is busy attending to other customers. Shaking his head, he sips once more.

“Hey mister! Cool shirt!”

He puts down his drink, frustrated at this phantom voice, and signals to the bartender, who comes over.

“Hey barkeep,” he begins, “what is that high-pitched voice I keep hearing?”

“Oh, those are the peanuts,” he replies. “They’re complimentary.”

Phil №❶ · **Reply #391: October 16, 2013, 23:57:45**

Can't decide

or

,,,,,,

AlanHo · **Reply #392: October 17, 2013, 01:23:51**

He was in the bar 2 years ago - and fell for it again....................

https://www.i30ownersclub.com/forum/index.php?topic=11825.msg130786#msg130786

Dazzler · **Reply #393: October 17, 2013, 01:48:08**

Quote from: Phil №❶ on October 16, 2013, 23:57:45

Can't decide or ,,,,,,

Aussie Keith · **Reply #394: October 17, 2013, 02:52:08**

Tough room.

Ugly Mongrel · **Reply #395: October 17, 2013, 10:21:13**

Sorry, Keith, I had no trouble deciding.....

and

Doggie 1 · **Reply #396: October 18, 2013, 12:45:42**

I wonder if you can ask for derogatory nuts?

rustynutz · **Reply #397: October 18, 2013, 13:05:42**

You called?

The Gonz · **Reply #398: October 18, 2013, 13:11:42**

AlanHo · **Reply #399: October 18, 2013, 13:27:18**

Quote from: rustynutz on October 18, 2013, 13:05:42

You called?

You sure know your place..........

Aussie Keith · **Reply #400: October 18, 2013, 23:15:32**

Quote from: rustynutz on October 18, 2013, 13:05:42

You called?

I've just popped back into the H&D for some quiet time and I notice a guy at the bar with a drink looking confused. After his first sip, he hears a high-pitched voice.

"Hey mister! Where's the WD40?" it says...

The Gonz · **Reply #401: October 19, 2013, 04:00:11**

Having trouble getting past the oxidised pendulous fasteners?

rustynutz · **Reply #402: October 19, 2013, 05:08:33**

Stop picking on me!

Just Rick · **Reply #403: October 19, 2013, 08:54:08**

Quote from: rustynutz on October 19, 2013, 05:08:33

Stop picking on me!

while their picking on you there leaving me alone

not that I ever upset anyone

rustynutz · **Reply #404: October 19, 2013, 10:49:55**

neither do I!

Dazzler · **Reply #405: October 19, 2013, 11:17:55**

Quote from: rustynutz on October 19, 2013, 10:49:55

neither do I!

Fair call (it's anyseveral)

eye30 · **Reply #406: October 19, 2013, 11:31:46**

Quote from: Aussie Keith on October 18, 2013, 23:15:32

"Hey mister! Where's the WD40?" it says...

?? What did i miss??

rustynutz · **Reply #407: October 19, 2013, 12:14:05**

AlanHo · **Reply #408: October 19, 2013, 12:21:57**

It must be an Aussie thing - I don't get it either

I s'pose this confession will sponsor suggestions about thick pommies....

Dazzler · **Reply #409: October 19, 2013, 12:25:05**

Quote from: eye30 on October 19, 2013, 11:31:46

Quote from: Aussie Keith on October 18, 2013, 23:15:32

"Hey mister! Where's the WD40?" it says...

?? What did i miss??

I guess it is because you would use WD40 on Rusty Nuts if they were giving you trouble?

eye30 · **Reply #410: October 19, 2013, 15:20:52**

Naaah i'd use a sledge hammer.

That way they will never be trouble again

Aussie Keith · **Reply #411: October 20, 2013, 03:49:02**

Three strings walk into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here!"

They go outside and one of the strings messes up his hair and ties himself up. He walks back inside and the bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings I just got rid of?"

The string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

Dazzler · **Reply #412: October 20, 2013, 07:16:22**

Quote from: Aussie Keith on October 20, 2013, 03:49:02

Three strings walk into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here!"

They go outside and one of the strings messes up his hair and ties himself up. He walks back inside and the bartender says, "Aren't you one of those strings I just got rid of?"

The string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"

Some might

but I really liked it

The Gonz · **Reply #413: October 20, 2013, 08:10:17**

I'm a frayed I'd seen it before.

Aussie Keith · **Reply #414: October 21, 2013, 03:33:27**

Yeah, I was knot entirely sure about it.

Doggie 1 · **Reply #415: October 21, 2013, 11:09:58**

A good yarn though. And in a great thread too.

The Gonz · **Reply #416: October 21, 2013, 12:37:07**

It's certainly looming into a classic. You weave a great story, the very fabric of entertainment.

Phil №❶ · **Reply #417: October 21, 2013, 13:07:36**

You've got me in stitches.

AlanHo · **Reply #418: October 21, 2013, 16:11:48**

Quote from: db08 on April 01, 2012, 07:04:28

Quote from: surferdude on March 31, 2012, 21:32:12
When does the pole dancing display start?

Does Alan do that too?

I don't come from Poland.

The Gonz · **Reply #419: October 23, 2013, 11:31:13**

Pole and ... what?