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Luckily, our mate frayed didn't fall over when he went back into the H&D. He would have been a slip knot.
Paddy and Mick were in the H&D Tavern after hours scrubbing the floor.Paddy says, "Wears the soap"Mick replies, "Yeah"
I was chatting with a H&D regular I hadn't seen about in a while. I asked him where he had been. He said: "I’ve been out of commission for awhile as I was beaten up by a woman! I was in an elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs as one would, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"So I did. I don't remember much afterwards but the doctor says I should be fully recovered in a few weeks."
Quote from: Aussie Keith on October 31, 2013, 01:16:53I was chatting with a H&D regular I hadn't seen about in a while. I asked him where he had been. He said: "I’ve been out of commission for awhile as I was beaten up by a woman! I was in an elevator when this busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs as one would, when she said, "Would you please press 1?"So I did. I don't remember much afterwards but the doctor says I should be fully recovered in a few weeks."Would have been worse if it had been me.. I would have asked if she was going down ...
I was chatting with another local, an old man who lived alone. He was saying he digs his his potato garden at this time of year, but he is getting on and its very hard work. His only son who would have helped him was in prison. So I asked if he needed a hand. He thanked me for the offer and explained that he wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation:Dear Son,I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden because your mother always loved planting time. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren’t in prison.Shortly, the old man received a message in the post: ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the garden!! That’s where I buried the GUNS!!’At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what had happened, and asked him what to do next.His son’s reply was: ‘Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It’s the best I could do for you, from here.’
I overheard this couple arguing loudly at the bar. They had got into an argument about who enjoys sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?""That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this:When your ear itches and you put your little finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out! Which feels better-your ear or your finger?"
