[Doggie 1]

 
He's probably expelled all his air. 

[rustynutz]

Well, I liked it....

[Dazzler]

Oh dear, I was going to apply, but can't handle number 4, sorry. 

Calling Dazz. We need a "Pout" smiley please.

Here you Go Trev.. Uploaded now 

[AlanHo]

A customer was so infatuated with our waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he tried to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.

Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation.

To his amazement, she readily consented.

He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact."

"Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you just wanted more coffee."

[Ugly Mongrel]

A customer was so infatuated with our waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he tried to catch her eye, she quickly looked away.

Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation.

To his amazement, she readily consented.

He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact."

"Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you just wanted more coffee."

Once again, this event only highlights the poor training your staff receive, Alan. 

I would have thought one of the duties of your waitress would be to ensure that your customers were looked after and topped up when necessary.

Your staff avoiding customers because they might need service is a shocking indictment on your management skills, Alan, and I suggest you lift your standards or give yourself an uppercut (or both)

Perhaps you need to spend less time on the barmaid and abit more time on the waitress.

Oh, and by the way, why are you selling coffee in a Tavern? Shame, shame, shame

[rustynutz]

Who got out of the wrong side of bed this morning? 

[Doggie 1]

I would have thought one of the duties of your waitress would be to ensure that your customers were looked after and topped up when necessary.

I agree.
And it is the duty of customers to reciprocate.

[meehalych]

I would take a fish cake and a cup of coffee now.
Gone to brew a coffee; be back soon.

[Phil №❶]

Once again, this event only highlights the poor training your staff receive, Alan. 

That's because he's never there, he's always o/s on "holiday" 

[Surferdude]

^^^
Yeah. Bloody absentee owners.

[Doggie 1]

Oh, and by the way, why are you selling coffee in a Tavern? Shame, shame, shame

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Irish coffee.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irish_coffee

[Ugly Mongrel]

Alan's new barman.

 

[FatBoy]

So, he's importing labour from Thailand?

[Doggie 1]

And again, I want to undo my thoughts. 

[Phil №❶]

See, he really didn't go to Cyprus 

[Doggie 1]

Looks like I'm the first one in.
What's everyone having then? 

[Phil №❶]

I'll have a Coonawarra Cab Sav please, where's Alan, not here again   

[Doggie 1]

I'll have a Coonawarra Cab Sav please 

Make that two 

[FatBoy]

About time, Dave.  I'll have a pint of real ale, thanks.  Where is that d-d-d-d-d-d-d-o-o-o-o-g-g-g-g.  I just f-f-f-f-f-ound him.  Stop it, n-n-n-n-ow. 

[FatBoy]

Actually, I'll have a water then.  If you two aren't drinking, then neither will I.

[Doggie 1]

Actually, I'll have a water then.  If you two aren't drinking, then neither will I.

  We're into it - I must have been out the back 

[AlanHo]

These two men just walked into our bar.

"What do you want to drink, Donkey?" one of the men asked.

"A..A...A pa...pa..pi..pint o..of gi...gi..gi Guinness A..a pint of Guinness please." replied his mate, clearly suffering from a severe stammer.

The other man goes up to the bar and says to the barmaid. "Two pints of Guinness for me and my mate Donkey."

The guy takes the drinks back. "Here you go, Donkey."

Later when they finished their drinks the guy says to Donkey, "It's your round Donkey. Go get us a pint o' Guinness."

Donkey goes to the bar. "T..T...T..two pa..pa...pa..pi..pints o..o..of gi.. gin..gi..Guinness. Two pints of Guinness please."

When the barmaid was sure Donkey's friend wasn't listening she said, "I think it's an awful cheek him calling you Donkey."

"Oh," Donkey replies, "He..aw he..aw he..aw he always calls me that."

[AlanHo]

I got chatting today with a really old chap in the lounge bar. He reckons he made his money out of being the inventor of crosswords.

I can't remember his name - it was P something T something R.

[Dazzler]

 

[Surferdude]

I got chatting today with a really old chap in the lounge bar. He reckons he made his money out of being the inventor of crosswords.

I can't remember his name - it was P something T something R.

P-E-T-E-R
woohoo. I win.

[2i30s]

I'll have a coffee thanks,a flat white with no sugar. 

[FatBoy]

I'll have a coffee thanks,a flat white with no sugar. 

I believe it is "The High and Dry Tavern" not "The High and Dry Cafe".  Make it an Irish Coffee, and I'll join you.   

[2i30s]

I'll have a coffee thanks,a flat white with no sugar. 

I believe it is "The High and Dry Tavern" not "The High and Dry Cafe".  Make it an Irish Coffee, and I'll join you.   

splash a shot into my mug slim. 

[Phil №❶]

Hi guys, it's cold here tonight, I'll have a Baileys <--- to start 

[Dazzler]

Did somebody say my name